A Wild WORD DOC Appears! by Rachael Acks

A Wild WORD DOC Appears!

Rachael Acks

I wasn't actually aware of the steampunk theme issue for Penumbra until about two weeks before the due date. Despite the fact that I had a midterm looming and a large project due, I knew that I had to write something for it. The same way you know that the person who just threw his or her drink in your face is the one, or the way you know that as god is your witness, you will eat that entire pizza and damn the unending hell of heartburn that is to follow.

This is really to say that I have to write. I can't not do it. And steampunk? Sign me up. It's an unholy love triangle of speculative fiction, frock coats, and physics.

One of the most valuable pieces of writing advice that you will ever hear - and hear it you shall, over and over until you're forced to believe it or scream loudly enough to drown us all out - is that if you want to write, just do it. Sit down and write.

That was exactly what I did. Only that glosses over the details of my writing process. In all honesty, it went something like this:

A wild WORD DOCUMENT appears! What do you do?

> stare blankly

FAILURE! The WORD DOCUMENT hits you for 34 damage. What do you do?

> spin in office chair (whilst staring at ceiling as if that will reveal some universal truth about steam engines and pistols)

FAILURE! The WORD DOCUMENT hits you for 19 damage. What do you do?

> cry out to the sky and angrily ask an uncaring, distant god why he has forsaken me

FAILURE! The WORD DOCUMENT hits you for 20 damage. What do you do?

> consume a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, liberally salted with my tears

FAILURE! The WORD DOCUMENT hits you for 23 damage and now you have LOVE HANDLES. What do you do?

> clench my teeth and raise my shaking hands to the keyboard

> write

You WRITE. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! You hit WORD DOCUMENT for 4500 words! Victory!

> celebrate

> wait a second, the word limit for Penumbra is 3000 isn't it?

> shit

 

The second most valuable piece of writing advice I've ever seen comes from Stephen King, by way of his fantastic book, On Writing. Kill your darlings, he says. Not just great advice for horror (where it might be more literal), but for anyone that wants to write. Sometimes you have to look at 4500 words you have sweated and sustained multiple brain cramps for, and know that at least 1500 of those words are about to go to the big recycle bin the sky. Try to think of yourself as the sculptor, and that block of words is marble from which a glorious work of art will emerge. I also recommend not imagining that you can hear the words let out tiny, pathetic shrieks every time you hit the delete key. It's probably healthier that way.

Then you send what's left of your darling - or hopefully your new and improved darling - out into the world. It's a scary experience, though somewhat easier when you're a hair away from panic with a deadline staring you down like a mountain lion looks at a toy poodle. Don't sweat it. It's not hard to keep busy while you wait.

A wild WORD DOCUMENT appears! What do you do?